In an Elite Singles survey, our members were asked how they decide whether they want to go on a date with someone they’ve met online.
47% of Kiwis surveyed said that the decision came down to one major factor: the quality of the messages exchanged.¹There’s no doubt that, when it comes to online dating, first message success counts – but how can you make the most of it?
To help make it easier, Elite Singles explored the dos and don’ts of the first approach, discovering everything you need to write a humdinger of a first message. Therefore, you want to break the ice in the right way. The harsh truth is that your message recipients can tell what is a genuine attempt to say hello and what is a copy paste template sent out ad nauseam.
If you want to truly make an impression, you need to send an original first message. To make the best impression when online dating, first messages thus need to be original: it’s about making the recipient feel special.
Let them know what you have in common and ask a few pertinent questions. A basic rule to follow is to avoid overtly physical compliments in your online dating first message as this can send the wrong signal – in fact, our Kiwi members voted sexual innuendo as one of their biggest online dating no-nos!
To avoid being taken the wrong way, you are best off chatting about your compatible personalities – you may truly mean your compliments but, until you know each other better, it is safer to keep such flattery to yourself.
A grey circle means that they have not checked their account within the last 28 days - as can happen when, for instance, a user is on holiday.
We are passionate about keeping our customers safe.
However, for your own peace of mind and sense of comfort, it's usually wise to wait a while before suggesting that you meet in person. As discussed in our online dating tips article, researchers at the University of Florida recently hypothesised that the ideal period between first message and first meeting is 17 -23 days. D, writing for Psychology Today, The Art of Listening: How Open Are Your Ears?Whether their purpose is dangerous or just desperate, you want to steer clear of both of these.Red Flag #2 When you do finally decide to meet up, decide on a neutral and safe location (a restaurant or a café) and have a friend or family member bring you and let them meet your date.That's why we have a Validation Team who manually approves all new profiles.However, it's always important to keep your wits about you when talking to a new person on the internet.