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The girl I had hooked up with was on her period and she hadn't told me, I'd gone down on her and came away with blood all over my face. I can feel the separation of the cloth travel like the lit wick on dynamite. He just foiled my drive-home-and-run-away-fast plan!!! At this point, the only reason my pants are on my body is because of the waistband, the outer seam, and the fact they're tucked into my boots. Plus I was in the Peace Corps so I know how to improvise. So, I take off my Scottish wrap and make it a skirt. She said in order for me to let her go, I had to say 'You're my big sister.' I refused.
To the cab drivers it must have looked like I'd tried to kill somebody by literally eating them. When I flashed my phone at my date and said I had to take the call, he looked a little confused. It shoots up the left thigh, across my Ya Ya, and STRAIGHT down the other leg!!! ' I'm thinking 'how are my pants even staying on my body!?? I'll have to live here in the theatre until no one is around but I have no car so I can't slink home in shame! ' So, after the movie, that I did not watch, my date says 'Let's go have a drink and a bite! Tied it right around my waist and went forth To imbibe. I tried to get up a couple times, but she held me down with relative ease.
After calming down a bit and some discussion, to my amazement she agreed to forget the beach and come with me to a restaurant for dinner.
I loaded the remains of the exhaust into the little back storage compartment and off we roared, no muffler, open exhaust pipe, to a rather nice seafood dinner.
Needless to say, there was no second date" (Source). I am still drunk, but I can feel the heat in my face caused by the booze being replaced by an entirely different sort of heat in my face- that of absolute, all consuming embarrassment.
"So, I play in these coed rec sports leagues, right? One time, a few years ago, I met a really pretty lady on OKCupid and we had hit it off well and we were set for a date on a Saturday night. I am blabbering out OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY OH MY GOD OH MY GOD PLEASE I AM SOOOOOO SO SO SO SO SORRY.
It was my son, I thought it might be important.' He had a funny look on his face and said 'So...___ is probably not a common name, huh? So, I walk with him to the theatre as if my legs are webbed together. To make matters worse, she then started talking with my gf as she was sitting on me. We didn't date much longer after that, and I bet she tells her friends about it as a hilarious story.By the way, we celebrated our fortieth wedding anniversary this year" (Source). She was being ogled by (me and) all of my friends, and eventually I came to realize that I had seen her before.I told my friends that I knew her, and they didn't believe me and challenged me to go talk to her.I called another cab which arrived quickly, this time I jumped in and the cab driver looked at me with these large saucer eyes. I tried to have a chat with him but he just wasn't interested and kept shooting me these nervous furtive glances. "I had the most embarrassing thing happen to me ever when I first brought my gf to my house when I was 18. My sister and I got into an argument, and she started to tackle me and she had me pinned down within seconds in front of my gf.It wasn't until I arrived home that I worked out what had happened. I guess the good side of being 47 is that I am accustomed to embarrassment, humiliation and crisis. My little sister (15) was 6 inches taller and she was stronger. My sister walked by, then my gf asked 'How old is your sister? She laughed out loud, and said 'But she is so much bigger than you! My face was facing the floor as she was sitting on me.