After that incident I had some close encounters with Mr. Once was at the opening of the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas, when a bunch of celebs got invited to see a private Rolling Stones concert. Then as he started to pull out of the parking lot and I got to the other side of the street, I realized it was Ed Murphy. Before I knew it, Murphy had spotted me through the windshield. Either way, for some reason I gave a half wave and quick nod. This can be a risky move if it goes unreciprocated.
(What a douche thing for me to mention in my book.) I brought one of my idiot buddies from high school. Brad Pitt to my right, Depp and Di Caprio at noon and six.
The line went “Hey, Michael Bolton, your hair is really long in the back, but guess what? It’s called Rogaine, look into it.” Then came “I know you’ve sold eight million albums but guess what? The bit was working and now the cast and other writers were baiting me, daring me to go after certain people. Some of my favorite jokes back then were ripping on Downtown Julie Brown after she had left MTV ().
Jim Downey was notorious for egging me on, and I was easily swayed by him because he was my boss, he is a great writer, and I was desperate to impress him in any way I could. (Barf.) As time went on, I hit some peeps pretty hard, but I only did so if I felt they deserved it. I went for Jim Carrey once, and I can say it was too soon—people loved him too much.
Here was one of my favorite comedians of all time ripping me a new asshole.
I wanted to apologize, explain the joke, anything, but nothing came out.