If her interest wasn’t obvious enough, as I walked out the door for the final time, her question was whether I had a girlfriend.
I told her no, and to my amusement, her reply was that she’d text me.
Dear “Casting”, I’m glad you wrote to me before talking to this lady because you should not ever say the thing about how you’re “casting a female lead for your story” in a breakup conversation unless you want to be made fun of for decades, like the guy in college who told me that I wasn’t quite “First Lady Material*” after a private tour of the White House with his bigwig donor family, less than a month into dating him, on Valentine’s Day.
He was and is a sweet man (and is happy as a clam with the First Lady of His Heart these days, as far as I know) but neither Twitter nor I will never forget his very earnest, deadly serious, incredibly detailed description of my lack of qualifications for a post I neither wanted nor knew I was running for.
Although she’s my age (19), I don’t think she’s at the point where I can tell her this without grievously wounding her undeveloped ego, especially given how she admires me.
Literally all you have to do from here is to not go out with her again.
Since she already asked you out again and you agreed – enough to start making a plan – there is some backtracking to be done. Text her (yes, text) and say: ” You will be tempted to spare her feelings by being ambiguous and letting her down easy. If you are really worried about “grievously wounding her underdeveloped ego,” by not returning her feelings, the best thing you can do for her is to get out of her life quickly so that she can move on from thinking of you as a prospect for romance.
That means, if she texts back how she wants to just hang as friends, say, “” but don’t accept the offer and don’t keep texting back and forth with her or planning “friendly” hangouts.
If you are meant to be friends someday, it will be because common interests and acquaintances bring you into each other’s orbit. I know this advice is coming with a whopping helping of “ but please know that there is love, here, too, for you, and for my younger self, and for my ex, President Earnest B.