(Okay, "think" is a bit of a stretch.) If you try to change men or just don't get them, you'll be stymied -- but if you accept how they are and forgive them and work with them, you will have enormous power and effectiveness. Well, the good news is, it means completely different things to different men -- but it almost always involves a combination of face, and body shape and size. Many men in our culture like slender, athletic female figures -- some men really do, and some say they do, because they are ashamed of admitting anything else to their male peer group. But many men in our culture do not want a slender woman: they want someone with riper curves, someone who is larger, more "Rubenesque." Some men like pear-shaped women; some men like inverted pears. And some men don't really care that much about body size or shape. Ralph may hate a lot of makeup on a woman, while Shawn considers it a turn-on. Even in the realm of extremely good-looking celebrities, you will find a whole gamut of opinions. (Fortunately, many of them don't toe the evolutionary line anyway--apparently their wiring has come loose.) Take faces, for example.It's clear that we read far more in a face than looks. We look into the eyes of the person we are talking to, and we feel as if we can tell who they are, deep down -- what they value, what they love.They strike up a conversation with her while they wait for their respective tables.The woman, Rachel, is friendly, glad to have someone to talk to while she waits for a friend to show up.With certain people, something about the face feels familiar, even familial. On some level, quite possibly unconscious, he (or his genes) are trying to decide, could this person be a lover or is she just a potential friend?
It isn't like a vegetable stand, where a man can say, "I'll take this onion here, not these others," and the onion has nothing to say about it. I knew a guy who got very turned on by a woman's handshake, if it was "as strong as a man's." His friends told him he was in the closet, but he stuck to his guns. Surely the cultured, educated, spiritual (yet masculine) man of your dreams doesn't look only at the outside of a woman.
And how many men have bravely catalogued the qualities of particular women that threaten their ego, and thereby their arousal?
But one area, at least, seems to be a no-brainer: a man's own physical likes and dislikes.
He senses in her an unswerving confidence in herself and in the cosmos, and a capacity for aggression, that make him feel he may be out of his league.
So Randy is leaning toward a no on the "lover" issue, except for one thing: he has noticed that Rachel (who is wearing an attractive taupe business suit) has long, very good legs, and Randy is a confirmed leg man.