“EMK’s advice seems unrealistic for anyone not wearing a promise ring.” Actually, it’s quite realistic.
If you think she’s playing games to “catch” you, then nothing I can do will convince you.
But it does do one thing: it ensures that the guy you just slept with is not seeing anybody else and is seriously open to exploring a future. “This is why so many feel “used” because they waited a month, or two, or three and finally “gave in” and POOF he’s gone anyways.” I didn’t say that you should wait a month or two or three before “giving in”.
(Unless, of course, he’s a psycho who would lie to your face to get laid – and I’m suggesting most normal men would rather find another woman than to do that.) “There is a shaming of women for wanting to have sex.” From whom? As I said in my original post, “I’m not remotely judgmental of those who have sex without commitment.” Hell, I’ve had a lot of sex without commitment. Waiting for some arbitrary time period has never been the point.
Which is fine – as long as the woman is up for the insecurity of not knowing where your relationship is headed. “If our culture starts once again demanding and creating chaste women, you’re going to get chaste women through and through.” Chaste means abstaining from extramarital or all intercourse.
I’m saying that women should wait until he’s a boyfriend, even if that means date 3.
Sexual compatibility is one of many factors you’ll have to consider in determining your future.People who were irked by the concept that women should make men invest more before having sex are still probably going to be irked – but at least I’ll know that I gave it my best shot to illustrate my arguments effectively. Again, I’m not remotely judgmental of those who have sex without commitment; I will only point out as a dating coach that it tends to lead to sub-optimal results from men because they didn’t have to do anything special to get into bed with you.” I can’t see anything about which one can argue. 🙂 Below are some of the comments I received (in italics), along with my responses.“What about having sex for the sheer joy of it without any agenda and expectation? If you can have sex for the sheer joy of it without any agenda and expectation, then my advice to hold out for a commitment should be completely irrelevant. As irrelevant as me wondering how often I should get a mammogram. If advice doesn’t apply to you, then you can absolutely ignore it.What you can’t do is argue with advice that is not intended for you.This is the exact same issue I had with women who tried to pillory Lori Gottlieb’s “Marry Him,” by saying that they settled in their first marriage so Ms.