Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you.Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you. Bruce Cameron Please do not remove the copyright from this essay When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend? But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi.s father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter? He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best to make my daughter? If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter? Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. This Joke Starts With Jenny's Wedding Day Fast Approaching When a husband's young new bride and his ex-wife are planning to wear the same dress on their wedding day, you know it's a recipe for disaster...A Generous Lawyer Invites a Family Over For Dinner (Joke) When a lawyer is going about town in his limo, he spots two men eating grass at the side of the road.
Faced with some tricky challenges, they have tried to solve them in funny ways.Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car-there is no need for you to come inside. While dads may be glad to see their daughter happy or in love, when it comes to father and daughters, there are some hard line rules that NO suitor should cross, unless they want to meet the kind of special wrath only angry dads can dish out.